Why Your Closest Relatives Don’t Show Up on Your DNA Match List

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Are you wondering why your closest relatives don’t show up on your list of DNA matches? In this post, find out all the reasons why this can happen.

There is nothing more disconcerting than checking your DNA match list for the first time or two and not seeing the people who you expect to find there. Fortunately, there are many reasons that this can happen and almost all of them are nothing to worry about at all.

Below, I list reasons that this can happen and provide some explanation. Plus, you’ll also find out what to do in case one of these reasons applies in your case.

These reasons are not listed in any particular order.

They haven’t tested their DNA

If your relatives have not tested their DNA, then they will not show up on your DNA match list. Our DNA relatives or matches are a list of people who share DNA with us and also tested their DNA.

The testing companies have no way to know the names of other relatives who have not tested their DNA.

Sometimes, we might expect to see someone on our list because we remember that they mentioned they were thinking about testing their DNA. So, we might assume that they did actually take the test.

They may have even ordered the test and not taken it. This is more common than you might imagine, as I have more than one friend or relative who got excited about the idea of testing their DNA, ordered the test, but never actually completed the steps to take the test and send it in.

Fortunately, it’s easy to find out whether your relatives have tested their DNA. All you have to do is ask, and you will find out.

You could consider sharing your ethnicity estimate or an interesting family history tidbit at the next family gathering, and let your relatives know that you tested your DNA. Some of your relatives might be interested in taking the test, too.

Your relatives tested with a different company than you did

There are five reputable companies offering DNA testing as of 2024, and it is possible that your relatives chose a different company than you did to complete their test. Our DNA match list can only display relatives who tested with the same DNA testing company, since the companies do not share DNA databases with each other.

For example, I took my DNA test with Ancestry. This means that I will not see DNA matches from 23andMe or MyHeritage on my Ancestry DNA match list.

Fortunately, some of the DNA testing companies actually offer the ability for people to upload their raw DNA data from their testing company’s site to their own. You can download your raw Ancestry DNA, 23andMe, MyHeritage, and Family Tree DNA data to upload to other sites.

Sites that allow uploads include the DNA testing companies MyHeritage and Family Tree DNA (FTDNA), as well as the free DNA analysis site Gedmatch. All of these websites provide you with a list of DNA matches.

If your relatives tested on Ancestry and you tested with 23andMe, or vice versa, the only way to see each other on your match lists will be to go ahead and take a second test with the other company. It’s often worthwhile to take a second test because you will find a completely different list of DNA matches, which is very helpful.

Your relative deleted their test results

People have been able to test their own DNA at companies like 23andMe and Ancestry for about ten years. Some of those people may have decided to delete their test results from their testing company’s site.

If you were expecting to see a certain person on your list, and you are sure that they took a test with the same company that you used, you could consider confirming with them that they have not deleted their test results.

Your relatives have matching turned off

It’s possible to turn off DNA matching on most of the DNA testing company sites. People sometimes do this because they only wanted the ethnicity estimate element of their DNA test and were not interested in viewing or communicating with DNA relatives.

By turning off the matching aspect of their results, people are able to continue to view their ethnicity/ancestry estimate without showing up as a DNA match to anyone else.

Fortunately, people do occasionally change their mind about this. My cousin turned her matching on when I let her know that a very close relative to her had recently taken a DNA test and shown up as a match to me.

She left her matching on, which I find very helpful when trying to figure out how other matches are related to us.

So, if you were expecting to find a relative that tested with the same company as you, be sure to ask them if their matching feature is turned on.

Your results haven’t finished “populating”

Our DNA match list can contain the names of thousands of people who are related to us. If you received only a few minutes ago the e-mail that your results are ready, give your list a couple of hours.

While this is never officially announced by any DNA testing company, I have heard stories from people who say that sometimes their DNA match lists grow during the first several hours of being able to view their results.

They are further down the list than you would expect them to be

Our DNA match lists are typically organized in a manner that shows the people who share the most DNA with us first. As we scroll down the list, we will see additional relatives who share less DNA with us.

It may be the case that the relatives that you are closest with are not the people who share the most DNA with you. For example, you might be close with a half-first cousin with whom you share only one grandparent.

This half-first cousin will share much less DNA with you than a great-uncle or great-aunt, who is a sibling of your grandparent and also likely fairly high on your DNA match list. Depending on how well you know your extended family, you may not even know your great-aunts or uncles.

If you have many close and extended relatives who have tested, you might have to scroll down further than you might think to find the people you are looking for.

Your relative is using a nickname, initials, or screen name

Some of our relatives might use a nickname, initials, or just a screen name on their DNA results. This could mean that our relatives are where we would expect to find them, but we just don’t recognize them.

This is one reason that I always recommend to analyze your DNA match list carefully, starting with your closest matches. In this manner, you will be sure to find the relatives that you are looking for.

Your relatives might be too distantly related to show up on your DNA match list

It may come as a surprise to most people, but it is possible to be related to someone and share no DNA. This most commonly occurs with people who are related at a third cousin distance or further, but it is also possible, while exceedingly rare, for second cousins once-removed to share no DNA.

This means that if your relative is a third cousin with whom you share a great-great grandparent, or a more distant cousin, you may not share DNA. It is normal to not share DNA with these relatives.

They are not biologically related to you

The final reason that we might not find known close relatives on our DNA match list, even when they have taken a DNA test with the same company, their matching is on, and they used their real full name for their results, is that they are not biologically related to us.

There are many explanations for this, including adoption or an NPE at some point in our family tree or that of our relative(s). The only way to work out the explanation that applies in your case is to carefully build your family tree, using your DNA matches as a guide.

Conclusion

I hope that this list of reasons why your relatives don’t show up on your DNA match list has been useful to you. If you have any questions about something that you read here, or if you want to share your own experience with not seeing someone you expected on your match list, I would love for you to join in the discussion below.

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